Monday, March 1, 2010

Today's Job Posting Gems

Alas, another day on the hunt. Job hunt, that is. Here are some random headlines found on

Great business oppertunity.. ... Obviously want someone to check your spelling, no? and last time I checked, ellipsis was ..., not .. but I'm open to new ideas.

*** Investor seeks 3 Interns *** ... I smell snake oil written all over this. Next thing, I'd be required as an intern to invest my own money, blah blah blah.

Female Navajo Voice Over Talent ... Well this should attract a fairly large pool of applicants given the distance to the Navajo reservation. Not.

Casting for a Latina character for principle TV role ... Somebody forgot the usage rules on principle/principal. But I hope the successful candidate is principled, just the same.

TRACTOR TRAILER SIDE DUMPS NEEDED ... Gosh, that side dump's been just sitting in my RV parking awaiting an opportunity like this. I once considered financing a loan for a belly dump truck. Does that substitute for experience? Never mind, the job's in Louisiana.

Egg Donors Needed! Women Ages 21-29!! ... Yesssss ... maybe they'd take my eggs even though I am past the age limit. I can see my egg donor resume now ... Proven offspring. No childhood discipline problems except the occasional sneaking out of the house at midnight and deleting everything from hard drive on computer. Talented in ice skating, photography, music, cooking. Magna Cum Laude for everybody! And ... witty and cute, too.

Become Unstoppable! ... Sounds like a Viagra ad. In my last job, I was unstoppable, but am hoping for a saner work schedule next time.

--Slot Tech II-- ... This ad is for a casino game repair person, even though it's based here in Gamblenot. I don't have the required two years of experience. I wonder if the Utah legislature knows about this company.

Eng to Tongan translator ... I don't know why they couldn't have bought a few extra letters for added comprehensibility. G-L-I-S-H, to be precise.

BUCK BUILDER - 2nd SHIFT ... I know what 2nd shift is but what I thought a buck was a deer. I don't think ... yeah. No.

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